I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
