He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
