I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
