A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
