I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
