Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
