And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
