Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
