it wasn't lemon gatorade
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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