Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
