After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
