My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
