i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
