shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
