Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
