Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
