Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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