My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
