listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
