I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
