2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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