dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
