I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
