I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
