Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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