I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
