I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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