TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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