i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
