She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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