belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
