Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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