so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
