he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
