Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
