Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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