I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
