Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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