She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
