You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
