Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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