i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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