she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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