I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
