We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
