Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize