can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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