worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
