you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
