i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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